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BlackHatsHat
This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Resort." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
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Black Hat

Welcome horrid creatures!
Are your henchmen so tired their natural clumsiness has increased tenfold?
Do they dare to ask for vacations?
Well, you're in luck!
For the first time ever you can send them to...
Hat-bot is thrown onto the path in front of the Black Hat Resort. The camera then pans to the face of the resort.

Black Hat

The Black Hat Resort for unhelpful henchmen!
Two robotic guards squash Hat-bot into a suitcase shape and carry it inside.

Black Hat

Our highly trained staff is here to cater to their every need!
Hat-bot is sitting in a bed and falls through it.

Black Hat

They'll take in the view from our high class hotel rooms!
Hat-bot slides down a large and unstable slide into a pool of sharks, which then devour it.

Black Hat

They'll enjoy our thrilling rides!
Hat-bot is on what appears to be a dance floor, dancing around to avoid the lasers being shot at it.
*zapping noises*
Hat-bot is relaxing on a reclined surface, only to then be crushed by a giant machine press.

Black Hat

They'll relax in the spa with a gentle back massage!
Hat-bot panickedly looks at Dr. Flug who is standing beside a table with restraints. The camera then shows various right-side-up tables with various tenants, including Hat-bot, strapped to them.

Black Hat

They'll enjoy among thousands of guests!
The camera focuses on Black Hat once more.

Black Hat

In Black Hat's Resort, we guarantee…
The camera focuses on Black Hat once more.

Black Hat

(Shoving a mangled Hat-bot away with his foot) They'll never want to leave!

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